Forgetting like this is all to do with ‘prospective memory’ or accurately remembering something you want to do in the future. The difficulty with this kind of memory is recalling information without any clues at all – unless you create them for yourself.

Prospective memory is very important for continuing confidence and independence. Unfortunately, it is one of the memory abilities that is most affected by ageing. Isn’t that Murphy’s Law!  The good news is that we can find plenty of ways to make sure we remember the important things.

When I was researching memory loss across adulthood I made hundreds of visits to younger and older people over a two-year period.  Several times I arrived at a door, loaded down with computer and memory testing material, only to find the person had completely forgotten I was coming.  So which age group do you think was most likely to have forgotten our appointment?  The older people?  Guess again!  Every time an appointment was forgotten it was by one of the young adult participants in the research study.  Why was this?

The younger people trusted their memories and were very likely to make comments such as “I won’t forget”, “I’ve got a great memory”, or “I’ve got an internal alarm that never lets me down”.  The older adults, some of them in their late nineties, were invariably ready and waiting for me, having noted the appointment on a calendar, diary, post-it note, or having my letter in a prominent place.

Dr. John Harris, a psychologist at Cambridge University, found the very same thing when he studied prospective memory. He commented that organising one’s life so as to remember to do things seems to be one of the skills which improves with maturity; older people are much more adept at relying on memory aids.

If you have difficulty with this sort of memory, try some of these memory aids.

1. Keep ONE diary or wall calendar to note every event you want to remember. Rid yourself of scrappy pieces of paper and the backs on envelopes.
2. If you want to keep a visual reminder of events, try using Post-It notes in different colours. You might decide on blue for meetings, pink for appointments, yellow for birthdays and so on.
3. Use a timer if you are cooking on the stove-top or the oven, especially if you are going to be in another room.  Find one with a loud ‘ding’.
4.  Ask receptionists, hairdressers, or friends to give you a reminder telephone call if necessary.
5. Before you go to sleep each night, mentally run through the next day reminding yourself of engagements or tasks you want to remember. Do the same when you wake in the morning.
6. When you turn off the heater or lock the door, tell yourself, out loud if possible, “I am turning off the heater now”, or “I am locking the door and putting the key into the front zip on my bag”. This creates a clear memory trace in the brain, preventing the dreaded worrying about whether you did or didn’t.

Making sure you are well organised will soon pay dividends in brushing up on prospective memory.

I expected directions, a calm voice giving me some clues …….
isn’t that what husbands are for?

Is this your worst nightmare, too?
A crowded parking lot, cars as far as the eye can see, in every direction
And, NOT A CLUE where you left yours?

Don’t you HATE it when time is against you and you can’t find your keys or your wallet!
Why does it happen?

Well, it’s quite simple really – your just weren’t paying enough attention when you parked.

Everyday you are being bombarded with information – things you see, touch, taste, hear and smell.  If you remembered it all there your brain would explode! (Well, not really, but you get the idea.)  Contrary to media buzz that urges us to multi-task every day, the human brain can focus on only one thing at a time. Not everything needs to be remembered and your brain has it all worked out how to make sure you remember only what is important to you.

Probably when you were parking, you were thinking about the shop you needed to get to, how much time you had until you needed to be driving out again and how you were going to handle your teenager who flew out of the house this morning, slamming the door.

Until recently it was believed that by the age of 50, heaps of brain cells were lost every day and that they were gone for good.  It’s true it does become harder to remember where you parked, where keys were left, names, dates or what was done two days ago.  But science has established that it’s more likely your memory powers have dulled simply because your brain (and maybe your body!) is no longer in tip top shape.

Forgetting and mis-remembering are normal parts of everyday life – at all ages.  Scientists are just beginning to understand why people forget.  From the age of 40 or 50 most people notice some forgetting.  Without regular brain exercise, the number of synapses (meeting points between neurons) diminishes so less information can be transmitted. But research shows you have the power to improve your memory, regrow brain connections and sharpen your overall brain health, and that the normal degree of changes in memory, abstract thinking, reasoning, imagination and insight caused by ageing varies from person to person

Your brain will quickly ‘forget’ anything that you have not committed to long-term memory so, if you put down your keys or wallet – or even park your car – on autopilot, without thinking, then your memory will let you down. To remember where things are, you need to focus on the item, concentrate on where it is being placed. You need to create a ‘memory trace’. There are ways to help your memory, though. Try these tips for remembering where things are:

• Always remember where your car is parked:

  Look for the closest parking spot, keep track of the number and level of your parking spot, jot this down and look out for landmarks like stores, large signs or trees. You can even take a photo with your phone if you are really having trouble with this one!

• Always know where your keys, glasses and wallet are:

  Designate a dish as your official wallet and glasses holder, keep this dish (or simply your wallet) on a table you’ll see it on your way out. Say out loud: I am putting my wallet in this dish.

  Leave keys on a specific hook and always hang your keys up there. Make a point of it. You can attach a paging or remote locating device to your key-chain. Giving a trusted friend or family member a spare might save your sanity in an emergency.

You’ll find lots more tips like these in the great new book by Allison Lamont PhD and Gillian Eadie, Seven Second Memory. And if you are ready to start our free six-day Brain Tune course, sign up now.

Avoid multi-tasking. It leads to stress and memory loss.

For weeks you’ve been cramming for this exam and you got up early this morning to make sure that you had remembered everything. A lot hangs on this test – your promotion, for one. You can feel the tension rising but say to yourself, “It’s just exam nerves – it’s good stress”, right? Then, when you look at the first question one that you’ve been expecting, your brain goes blank, the words don’t make sense, and you can’t remember a single fact to write down.

You want to get up and run right out of the exam room. When this happens, you are experiencing the “fight or flight response” that every human being has in cases of impending danger.

‘Fight or flight’ is an innate response and it’s a great instinct in its right place. When Fight or Flight kicks in, though, the brain slows down so that it can concentrate on protecting you. If you try to remember something when Fight or Flight is operating, you’ll forget – that’s why stress can cause memory loss.

Stress isn’t always a bad thing – we can all do with energy surges now and then.

In Fight or Flight, for instance, your body automatically starts a chain of reactions. Stress hormones such as cortisol, secreted by the brain, provide energy to our limbs so that we can run away immediately. At the same time, though, the hippocampus is robbed of its energy; if this goes on for a long time, then there are chances of short-term memory loss, because the hippocampus is vital in processing memory.
Repeated exposure to stress of the hippocampus can cause long-term damage and more permanent memory loss. So, it is important to get stress under control.

Can continuous stress cause memory loss? Yes, it can.

If you are forgetting more often, panicking about deadlines and too many unfinished tasks, then you must do something about it today. Stress can become a chronic ailment and you will suffer memory loss.

So, what can you do to contain stress?

1. Monitor how your body and brain are being affected by stress every day. It is important that you take this seriously in order to avoid irreparable damage. Make a note of times you feel particularly pushed; jot down how you are feeling and what you are doing. What are you eating? What are you drinking?
2. Make a list of tasks to be done and create a time-line. If you know that some deadlines you have agreed to cannot be done in the time, contact the recipient now and renegotiate. Take control, relieve the pressure and begin working in a planned, sensible way.
3. Organize your life so that you can work under normal conditions without undue stress. Enjoy your tasks and regain your life.
4. Be in control of the way you eat, exercise, plan and respond – think about your reactions consciously until you feel you life is back on track.

Stress related memory loss diseases include Alzheimer’s, dementia, and other related illnesses that can cause brain trauma. So take action NOW.
A risk-free way of making a start is to sign up for your free  six-part course of Brain Tune.

• It takes no more than 20 minutes a day.
• It’s based on science and research.
• It’s easy to do.
• And it’s been shown to make a difference.

In fact, it’s so good, the University of Oxford in the UK are using a similar product in a research project involving people just like you.

Is this forgetfulness normal?

Many people over the age of 50 (and maybe even younger) experience mild forgetfulness.
Although these are a wake-up call to pay attention to your brain and memory, if the forgetfulness includes:
• Forgetting parts of an experience
• Forgetting where you park the car
• Forgetting events from the distant past
• Forgetting a person’s name, but remembering it later
Then, your memory loss is mild and would be regarded in the ‘normal’ range. It’s worrying though and, in the view of Dr. Allison Lamont, the Memory Doctor, “it’s time to take stock of your lifestyle and memory habits. Memory can be enhanced at this stage.”

When Should I Be Worried?

When you should be worried though, is when your memory loss is affecting your daily living. Alzheimer’s disease is a progressive condition that damages areas of the brain involved in memory, intelligence, judgement, language, and behaviour. MRI scans are now able to determine what is happening in an Alzheimer’s but, prior to this, doctors have ways of identifying when the memory loss has become more serious.

When Should I Check With My Doctor?

It’s time to check with your doctor, if you, or someone close to you, is:

• Forgetting something you have just done, or an event you have just attended
• Forgetting how to do things that you’ve done many times before, like driving a car or telling the time
• Repeating phrases or stories in the same conversation
• Forgetting ever having known a particular person
• Frequently becoming confused, or seeming ‘far away’
• Having trouble making choices or handling money
• Noticing that forgetting like this has become more frequent over the past six months.

Never accept memory loss as normal – in mild cases, you can do something about it today – check out Seven Second Memory for a memory program that works.
In serious cases, then the sooner you have an accurate diagnosis, the sooner you can take the necessary steps.

For further information, read Nine Secrets of a Sharp Brain After 55 and Keep that Boomer Brain Growing

Sam in control of his life, his job and his stress.

I was just about to grab my car keys and get on my way to the office when my mobile rang. I quickly checked caller ID and was surprised to see a colleague’s name.

“Why’s Sam ringing me at this time of the morning – he should be almost at work by now”, ran through my mind. It was Sam,and he said he had to see me – it was urgent. Could I drop by on my way to work? He sounded odd on the phone – spoke kind of disjointed and sounded tearful. Bad enough for me to call Sarah to put my appointments on hold. I set off for Sam’s place and a whole gamut of potential disasters that might be facing me ran through my mind as I drove.

Sam met me at the door and he looked strained and white-faced. He wasn’t dressed for work and he looked as if he hadn’t slept. It all came out in a rush as Sam’s wife Joan hovered, worried, in the background.

‘Thanks for coming, Gillian. I can’t face going in to work and I didn’t know what else to do but call you. Look, I love the job, you know that. But I can’t face the thought of my desk: there’s that implementation time-line I didn’t get finished, emails I haven’t answered, calls I know I should have made two days ago. I don’t know, they went out of my mind and ….. I just don’t think I’m up to it any more. And yesterday, I forgot to go to the department meeting where I was explaining our strategy for upgrading the network. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t remember the way I used to and the supervisor’s on my back and I know he thinks I’m past it.’ And so it went on.

Sam’s a great employee and knows the company through and through. As he talked, I could see a pattern of overload and stress turning a key employee from an alert mover and shaker into a forgetful, distracted mess who couldn’t even face coming into a workplace he’s helped to shape.

So what did we do?
Well, it took a while and I worked with Sam and his wife to sort out exactly where the stressors were coming from and how they could be tackled. It’s different for individuals, of course, because each situation and environment is different. But for Sam, here’s what we identified:

Firstly, he wasn’t losing his memory, which was what he had feared. He was just so stressed that his memory skills were going on hold.

Secondly, when we looked at Sam’s work pattern, I was shocked to find that his commitment to task-completion meant that he rarely left the office before it was dark, he often went in at weekends and he still took work home with him. Emails chased him home and he did his best to please everyone.

And the requirements of the new network involved a set of skills and knowledge which he was trying to get on top of, and floundering, simply because he couldn’t find time to focus on this. He began feeling helpless.
He wasn’t sleeping and the kids weren’t getting much of a look-in, either. Joan didn’t say anything, but I could see that the family was under strain in this whole scenario.

Basically, work had taken over Sam’s whole life – he could think of nothing else and he’d become obsessed by the problems that were overwhelming him.

It took a while, but I’m pleased to say that Sam and Joan played a round of golf with my husband and me on Saturday, and we seemed to have our old Sam back. I’ve given you the bare bones of Sam’s action plan below and I guess there is good advice for all of us in it.

1. Sam joined the work gym and committed himself to going 4 times a week for at least 20 minutes.
2. He made time to talk with his supervisor to let him know what the situation was and what he was doing about it. Sam wasn’t looking forward to this but told me later that it had been a very positive and supportive conversation.
3. He made a To Do list which, with my help, he prioritized into four categories: Urgent and Important, Urgent and Not Important, Not Urgent but Important, Not Urgent and Not Important (these he delegated to another staff member). Already he was beginning to see some light at the end of his very long tunnel.
4. He regulated his work day, allocated realistic time-frames to what had to be done and ‘gave himself permission’ to leave some tasks unfinished until the next day.
5. He took his meal breaks and Joan made sure that he was including good brain food in his diet.
6. He signed up for a training course in the operation of the network – he made time to get on top of one of his major tech stressors.
7. Much to his boys’ delight, he pulled out all of his model aeroplane kits from under the workbench and decided that they would build a brand new Piper Cub to fly in the local club competition.
8. He went back to golf (he had let his membership lapse and hadn’t held the clubs for about four years).

The ‘old’ Sam is back on the team and, to my knowledge, he’s never forgotten another face, name or appointment. He’s also never forgotten how close he was to burnout and forced retirement.

If Sam’s story rings any bells for you, take action: identify what is causing you stress and develop an action plan that includes looking after your own health, time for relaxation, sorting out any personal conflicts or tech stress, and making sure that your family comes first. They are the ones who care for you most.

For more helpful information, look up Brain Food the Easy Way and Never Lose Things Again

Shocking headline UK, 2008

I don’t know about you but I had not given a nanosecond’s thought to dementia – in fact, I wasn’t even certain what dementia was, exactly. Something to do with being demented or crazy, maybe …..

So I wasn’t exactly ready for being told that some of the odd things my Mom was doing were actually the first signs of Alzheimer’s disease, a kind of dementia.

Like she was thinking it was night time and putting herself to bed in the afternoon. Or forgetting that she had just had lunch and wondering when lunch would be ready …. that sort of thing. What’s really scary, though, is that I’ve caught myself out being a bit forgetful as well and I’m just a baby-boomer. So, being anxious to make sure that I wasn’t on a fast-track to dementia, myself, I’ve done some research.

I was very relieved to find a report In ‘Critical Care Nurse”, 2004:24, which told me about four main ways you can delay, or even better, avoid dementia altogether.

These were written up for critical care nurses – but I reckon they are pretty important for you to know, too.

All of the following were seen to be of of vital importance to avoid or delay dementia:

1. Establishing and maintaining a BMI within the healthy range (19 to 25) – this is Body Mass Index and you can calculate it. A weight loss program was recommended for anyone with BMIs at both the obese (>30) and overweight (>25) levels.
2. Reducing elevated cholesterol and blood pressure levels to normal ranges
3. Regular and frequent eating of green, leafy and cruciferous vegetables known to be associated with decreased incidence of dementia
4. Regular and frequent participation in activities that are socially, intellectually, and physically engaging

So, all you Fellow Boomers:

* when it comes to eating vegetables, green it;

* when it comes to participating in activities, move it; and

* when it comes to carrying excess body weight, lose it.

For further information, read Nine Secrets of a Sharp Brain After 55 and Keep that Boomer Brain Growing